In Which Voldemort Adopts a Kitten
by Missglitterystars
Summary: Voldemort adopts a kitten! The excitement! What will happen?
1. Voldemort Wants a Kitten

Author's Note: I don't own anything

Summary: Voldemort adopts a kitten! What chaos shall ensue?

Voldemort was sitting in his evil throne and was crying for some reason. He felt lonely and he felt like no one cared for him. Of course he had his evil minions, but they only liked him because of his power. He wanted someone to love him for who he was, not what he was. He did have a snake, but he didn't feel that love for the snake. The snake was cold and icy, just like Voldemort.

Lucius Malfoy came into the throne room with a box of tissues on a platter. He had heard the dark lord crying from down the hall. "My Lord, why are you crying?"

Voldemort looked to the sky and a bit of sun came through. "I feel so lonely."

"Does someone need a hu-"

"No hugs. Hugs are not evil!"

"Even tough evil gangstas or dark lords need hugs."

Voldemort huffed as he crossed his arms. "I wish to go to the petstore! I am returning my snake and I wish for something that will love me forever. I want something cuddly. Something fierce."

"All right. Did you have something in mind?"

Voldemort started to laugh his epic evil laugh and Snape came behind him with a record player playing a scary epic theme. "I want a kitten!"

Lucius stared at Voldemort like he was crazy. "A kitten?"

"That's right Mr.!"

"What about a dragon?"

"I SAID A KITTEN! WHAT THE FUDGE!"

Lucius Malfoy made a squeak noise. "Snape, you shall come with me since Lucius doesn't like kittens."

Snape was giggling and clapped his hands. "Oh mah gawd!" Snape laughed, "We're going shopping girlfriend."

He did a sassy hand wave and Voldemort gasped, "Teach me how to do that when we come back."

"I will!"

"Off to the pet shop!"

And so….it begins.


	2. Truffles

Author's Note: I don't own anything except for Shelby and Truffles.

Voldemort was so excited about going to the pet shop that he accidentally forgot the snake. Thankfully, Lucius decided to adopt the snake and give it to Draco as a belated birthday present. Also, Voldemort took off so fast that he forgot to take Snape with him. Voldemort preferred to do this by himself because after all, the kitten would be his and no one else would own it.

Voldemort came across the pet shop and he smiled. His loneliness would soon be over. As he walked into the store, he saw that the person who would be helping him was the witch from the grocery store where he bought his dinosaur nuggets. "Shelby?" asked Voldemort.

"Hi Voldemort!"

"What are you doing here?"

"It pays better here!"

Voldemort smiled as Shelby said, "What can I do to help you today?"

"I am here to adopt a kitten!"

"You've come to the right place then!"

Shelby led Voldemort past the dogs, the frogs, rodents, the turtles, and the birds. They then came across the kittens. "Fluffy minions from heaven!" gasped Voldemort.

There was a huge playroom with all kinds of kittens. Fluffy ones, skinny ones, fat ones, big cats, little cats. Shelby took out a key and let Voldemort in. Voldemort sat in the center of the room and Shelby sat next to him. "Let the kitten come to you. You will know in your heart when it's a match."

Voldemort nodded as Shelby showed him how to introduce yourself to a kitten. "You curl up your hand like this," she showed him, "And then you curl up your finger and let the cat sniff it."

Voldemort giggled as a few kittens came towards him. There was a fat white cat, a small grey kitten, and a fluffy brown and gray cat. Voldemort greeted them and the white cat tried to get into Voldemort's lap. Unfortunately, the cat was so fat that the cat could not get in his lap. The gray kitten stood far away. The fluffy cat was chasing his tail and then rolled over.

"Not one of them likes me," Voldemort gasped.

"Give it time."

Suddenly, a cream colored kitten appeared. It was a female and had a nice round face. She wasn't completely fluffy, but her coat was soft and beautiful. Voldemort was mesmorized by this beautiful kitten. The kitten walked towards him and Voldemort stuck out his hand. The kitten rubbed her head on his hand and then gave him a lick. "I think she likes you!" Shelby smiled.

Voldemort gasped as the kitten curled up in his lap. He slowly began to stroke the kitten and she began to purr so loudly. Voldemort felt like he was going to cry because he was so happy. "What's her name?" asked Voldemort.

"Truffles!"

"How cute!" gushed Voldemort as Truffles rolled over onto her back as Voldemort continued to pet her.

Truffles got up off of Voldemort's lap and walked over to Shelby and then looked back at Voldemort. Voldemort could have sworn that Truffles smiled at him. "Truffles is the one!"

Shelby conjured up a cat carrier and Truffles went into the cat carrier. "Wow, it was that easy?" Voldemort gasped.

Shelby smiled.


	3. Bringing Truffles Home

Author's Note: I don't own anything except for Truffles. Truffles is an oc.

Voldemort got everything that he needed, paid for it, and then was out the door. Truffles was shuffling around the cat carrier smelling the fresh air and pressed her nose against the carrier. She then let out a soft confused meow. "I'm taking you away from this place my little Truffles."

Truffles didn't understand what Voldemort was saying, because she didn't speak human. She spoke cat. The cat carrier felt heavy as Truffles continued to pace around. She began to meow again. Her meows would get louder and louder until everyone stopped to stare at Voldemort. "What are you looking at?" snapped the Dark lord.

Voldemort decided to conjure up a car because he didn't know how the cat would like flying. He placed the cat carrier on the seat next to him. "Buckle up missy," he whispered as he put the seat belt across the cat carrier.

Truffles was not happy and let out a loud howl. "I promise we will be home soon."

Voldemort drove away and the entire way the cat was howling. Voldemort then began to sing a lullaby in a falsetto voice. Truffles stared at him and gave him a confused meow. Suddenly Truffles leaned forward a bit like she was going to get sick. "Oh no!"

Suddenly, Truffles was sick and began to throw up. "Aww poor baby!" gasped Voldemort.

As soon as they pulled into the driveway, the car melted away and Voldemort took the cat carrier. "I'll clean this."

Voldemort ran past Snape and Lucius with the cat and Snape sassily called, "Fine then, don't show us your new cat. Forget about me teaching you my sassy wave!"

Voldemort didn't know where to take the cat, so he decided he would take her to a nice quiet part of the castle. Running around the castle, he came across his room. "Welcome home Truffles."

Voldemort opened the cat carrier and Truffles ran so fast and hid underneath the dark lord's bed. "Aww Truffles! Come out!" Voldemort whispered.

Truffles didn't come out. "Okay well then I will clean your carrier and I will check on you later."

Voldemort walked out and went to find Snape and Lucius. "Voldemort, you forgot to take me to the pet store with you," pouted Snape.

"Sorry Snapey," Voldemort apologized.

"And then you don't even introduce your kitteh to us!" Snape continued.

"She was sick and I'm cleaning the cat carrier. I promise you can meet her later!"

"What's her name?" asked Lucius uninterestedly.

"Truffles!"

Snape laughed and declared, "That's not evil enough! She needs an evil name. A name that will strike fear into the hearts of witches and wizards all over the world."

Snape closed his eyes and then said, "What about the name…Fluffy Muffin?"

Voldemort slapped his head. "How is that scary?" asked Lucius.

Snape shrugged.

"I am keeping her name the same. She isn't even your pet you guys."

A few moments of silence went by and then Voldemort called out, "Bellatrix!"

Bellatrix showed up and Voldemort handed her the cat carrier. "Clean it."

Then Voldemort walked away to spend time with Truffles.


	4. Quality Time with Truffles

Author's Note: I don't own anything except for Truffles. Truffles is an oc.

Slowly, Voldemort opened the door, hoping not to scare his beloved Truffles. Voldemort bent down to see where Truffles was and of course Truffles was hiding underneath the bed. "Come on out Truffles!"

It was useless. Truffles didn't budge. Voldemort felt slightly disappointed and curled up on the floor. All he wanted was some love and he wasn't getting it. He never felt so alone in his life. He softly began to cry, tears spilt. While he was crying, he didn't notice the fact that Truffles had come out from hiding. Truffles made her way over to Voldemort and Voldemort gasped when he saw her. She was a little nervous, but something drew her towards Voldemort. She walked closer and closer until she was standing in front of him.

"Truffles!"

Truffles began to walk forward and was now standing in Voldemort's lap. The cat was walking around and then curled up. "What a good kitty."

Truffles made herself comfortable and wrapped her tail around her body. Voldemort began to softly stroke Truffles and she had never felt so content. As Voldemort continued to touch her soft fur, Truffles began to relax more and more until she felt so relaxed that she fell asleep. And it was that day that two lonely souls bonded.

Snape came to the door and opened it slowly. He started to bawl when he saw how happy the dark lord was. Lucius stood by Snape and was handing him tissue after tissue. "It's beauty and the beast!" laughed Lucius.

"Don't call Truffles a beast, you beast. Truffles is a beauty," Snape giggled.

"So does that make me a beast?" asked Voldemort.

"It makes you a sexy beast!" Snape announced.

"Come on Snape, let's go!" Lucius dragged Snape away.

"Can we watch a movie about girl power?"

"Yes."

Snape and Lucius were gone leaving Voldemort with Truffles. Truffles woke up and looked at Voldemort. He could have sworn that she was smiling at him. "I hope you love you new home!" he smiled as he rubbed Truffles's head.

The dark lord had set up a litter box and food and water for the cat. He also bought several toys for her to play with. Voldemort watched fascinatedly as Truffles went over to her food. She turned her back to Voldemort and began to chow down. She crunched and munched and then went over to her water dish. Once she was finished, she began to explore the room. She was smelling everything and rubbed her head on every single surface. "Marking your territory?" asked Voldemort.

Truffles meowed and continued through the room. She came across Voldemort's bed and jumped onto it. She saw a spider and her eyes widened. She then went into attack mode and tried to get the spider. "Oh you go girllllll!" Voldemort cheered for Truffles.


	5. Quality Nap Time!

Author's Note: I don't own anything except for Truffles. Truffles is an oc.

Voldemort sighed happily as he watched his cat sleep. She looked so beautiful…so peaceful. Snape came in a few hours later and joined Voldemort in staring at Truffles. Lucius then came in as well and continued to stare at her. "She's so-"

"Beautiful," everyone said at once.

"Wow, that was so magical!" gasped Snape.

"Teach me your sassy wave!" begged Voldemort.

"Okay!"

Snape showed Voldemort the movements and then Voldemort did the movements. Just as he did the sassy wave, Truffles woke up and was staring wide eyed at Voldemort. It was as if she was asking what the heck he was doing. Snape leaned forward to touch Truffles, but she didn't like him at all. Her ears went back and she hissed and swiped at him. Snape began to bleed a little. "Ouch."

"I guess she didn't like you."

Snape stood up and declared, "One day…she will love me."

Sunshine shone in on Snape and he began to dramatically lift from the ground. "PUT ME DOWN I'M GETTING SICK!" he cried.

Bellatrix and some random death eater laughed as they lowered Snape to the ground. "That was not funny!"

Snape chased the two out of the room and let Voldemort spend some time with Truffles. Truffles had jumped off the bed and sniffed a cat toy. It was a feather boa type material on a stick. Voldemort ran around the room with it and Truffles chased it. She ran so fast and did jumps and twirls as she tried to get it. Once she would get it, she would take her back legs and begin to kick it up towards her mouth. It almost looked inappropriate.

Voldemort laughed so hard that he dropped the toy and then went to pick it up and the whole process would start over again. This went on for another 15 minutes. "I am wiped out!" Voldemort took a deep breath.

Voldemort climbed into his bed and was going to take a nap. "I love you Truffles."

Voldemort smiled as he closed his eyes.

A few hours later….

Voldemort was having a dream. Harry Potter was attacking him and something green was crawling up his leg. Voldemort couldn't tell if it was really happening or not, but it felt so real. Voldemort opened his eyes and at the edge of the bed was Truffles. He had been dreaming, but he felt Truffles's presence. Voldemort peeped at Truffles through the blanket and watched as she crawled onto his chest. She was gazing deep into his eyes and her tail was playfully swinging from one side to the other. She began to lick his hand and Voldemort closed his eyes, falling asleep with Truffles on top of his chest.

In the middle of the night, Truffles began to make some weird grunting noises. "What is it girl?" asked Voldemort as he bolted up.

Right as he moved, Truffles took over Voldemort's pillow and sat in the nice warm spot. "You sneaky girl."

Voldemort tried to move her, but her claws dug deep into the pillow. He didn't want his fluffy pillow to be torn so he left her have the pillow.


	6. Truffles MIA

Author's Note: I don't own anything except for Truffles. Truffles is an oc.

That morning Voldemort awoke to face Truffles's furry butt. He spit the cat hair out of his mouth and looked down at his beloved cat. He gently picked her up and she felt so heavy as he tried to move her. When she was moved, Voldemort tried to move as well. Truffles curled up in Voldemort's armpit and looked out the window. She was quiet and her ears flickered as she watched. The door opened and Truffles's attention went to the door. It was Snape and he had a camera. "Photo time!" he announced.

"Get out of my room!" mumbled Voldemort as he tried to cover himself up.

"Oh work it Voldy!" Snape gasped as he snapped photos as Voldemort moved.

When Truffles saw that Snape had a camera she turned to face him and she even did some poses. She was modeling! "Oh Truffles! That is great!" Snape continued to click photos.

Truffles flopped onto her belly and rubbed her head on Voldemort's hand. "Be back later for more photo fun!" Snape pranced away and did a twirl.

"I worry about him Truffles," Voldemort whispered.

Truffles got off the bed and walked over to her litter box. It was completely full and there was no room for her to go. She turned her head and meowed at Voldemort. "I'll clean it."

Voldemort cleaned the litterbox and Truffles stepped in. She began to kick the litter around and it was making a mess on the floor. She started to go in the corner, but unfortunately, she missed and it got all over the floor.

"SNAPE!" called Voldemort.

Snape came in and Voldemort snapped his fingers. "Clean that up!"

"Yes sir!"

Truffles saw that the door was open. She turned to look at Voldemort and when he wasn't looking, she ran out of the room.

"Oh shut the door, we don't want Truffles to get out!"

Snape looked around. "Truffles?"

Voldemort and Snape began to panic as they searched the room. "This is your fault Snape! You left the door open! You fail! BAD MINION!"

Snape began to pout and cried a little bit. "I'm sorry Vo-"

"SAVE IT! And look for Truffles!"

Snape bolted out the door and began to search for Truffles. He would find her and bring her back to her master and everything would be fine. He only hoped that no other doors were opened.

"Here Truffles!" Snape called.

Snape searched high and low. Truffles could be anywhere he thought. Suddenly, Snape saw something that looked like Truffles. It was Truffles and she was chasing a rat. Unfortunately, this rat was Peter Pettigrew. The rat transformed into a human right as Truffles bit him. "OUCH!" he screamed.

Snape ran over and wiped his forehead. "Thank god you found Truffles!"

"Truffles?" asked Peter.

"Yes the dark lord's new pet kitty!"

"I guess this means no rat form around the castle."

Snape picked up Truffles and while in mid air, Truffles turned around and swiped at Snape's face. "Bad kitty!" Voldemort boomed from down the hallway.

Voldemort came down the hallway and grabbed her gently from Snape and he cuddled her. "You scared me! Don't do that again!"


	7. Story Time and Love

Author's Note: I don't own anything except for Truffles. Truffles is an oc.

It was time for bed and Voldemort led Truffles back to his room. "Would you like me to read you a bed time story?" asked Voldemort.

Truffles lifted her head and it almost looked like she was smiling at Voldemort. "I will take that as a yes! SNAPE!"

Snape twirled into the room with a book on a platter. "Here you go your darkness!" smiled Snape as he bowed.

He threw the platter out the door and then curled up on the floor. He was on his stomach and rested his head on his elbows. "Ready?" asked Voldemort.

Snape nodded as Truffles curled up. "Alright, tonight's story is about two unlikely people becoming friends."

Voldemort began to read the story and lovingly stroked Truffles and she began to softly purr. As time went on, Voldemort got to the half way point of the story. He looked over at Truffles and she was fast asleep. She was snoring and purring at the same time and was in total bliss. Snape and Voldemort looked at each other and said, "Aww!"

It was so precious. Voldemort felt tears spill from his eyes and Snape handed him a tissue. "Oh Voldy, what's wrong?"

"For the first time in my life, I finally realized what's its like to be loved and to love."

Snape began to sob as well and he whispered, "I knew that feeling…once."

Voldemort and Snape looked at each other and cried some more. They hugged each other and then Voldemort said, "Let's let Truffles sleep and go watch a chick flick and cry over that!"

Later that night, Voldemort came back to his room and opened the door slowly. Truffles awoke and lifted her head. She mewed softly and jumped off the bed to rub herself on Voldemort. He picked her up and she made a grunt noise. "I love you Truffles."

He set Truffles back down and climbed into his bed. For some reason, he thought about what he and Snape had said earlier about love. Voldemort finally loved something. And that something wasn't a something it was a someone. Someone named Truffles.


	8. Kitty Love

Author's Note: I don't own anything except Truffles is an oc

Many months had gone by and Voldemort and Truffles were closer than ever! Truffles would follow Voldemort everywhere and anywhere. It was adorable. Voldemort even found a fluffy cushion to add to his evil throne so she could sit with him.

Snape of course had designed it. It was pink and sparkly with feathers and it said little princess on it. Truffles of course loved it and also became attached to Snape! Which he of course loved. He would call her Truff Truff and she would flop over on her belly so he could rub it.

One day, Truffles wasn't feeling well. She wasn't terribly active and she kept itching at her ears and throwing up. "Dark Lordy! Truff Truff needs to go to the vet!"

"Take her my minion! DO IT!"

Snape took Truffles to the vet and he used floo powder. Unfortunately, along the way Truffles got sick and threw up in her cat carrier. Snape checked in with the vet and he sat down.

The door opened and out walked Hermione Granger with her cat Crookshanks. When Truffles saw Crookshanks, she snapped out of her state and called mournfully out to Crookshanks. "Aww does my Truff Truff want out?"

Snape opened the cat carrier and Truffles jumped out and ran over to Crookshanks. "Truffles! Come back!" called Snape.

Well, needless to say, Truffles didn't come back because she was "busy" with Crookshanks. They were sniffing each other and they began to groom each other. Hermione wasn't really paying attention because she was lost in her own little world.

Pretty soon, Crookshanks and Truffles started the mating dance. It was on that day that Truffles would conceive children. Truffles was going to be a mother!

Snape didn't want to interrupt Truffles and Crookshanks so he pretended that nothing was happening. Instead he read a magazine on how to become badass.

After the vet, Snape brought Truffles to Voldemort and sang, "Truffles is gonna be a mom!"

Voldemort looked at Snape and gasped as he whispered, "Who is the father? Are we going to have to go on one of those tv shows where there are like 5 potential fathers and there is a paternity test?"

"No Sir! I know who the father is!"

"TELL MEH!"

"Crookshanks, Hermione Granger's cat!"

"OMG SO PERFECT! IT WILL LEAD POTTER HERE!"

"How does Truffles have anything to do with Potter?"

"Just wait my minion…just wait."

Snape went into his room and began to design fluffy pillows for the future kittens.


	9. Miracle of Birth

Author's Note: I don't own anything except for Truffles

As time went by, Truffles got larger and larger due to the fact that she was pregnant. Snape was so giddy that he could hardly contain himself! "Someone is pregggersssss!" he would sing.

"Am I really?" asked Voldemort as he would check out his stomach.

"Not you! Silly! Truffles!"

Voldemort was so proud of his beloved kitty.

The day finally came when Truffles was due. "Does the father kitty need to be here?" asked Snape.

Voldemort shrugged and then conjured up Hermione. "What am I doing here?" asked Hermione confusedly.

"GRANGER! You are about to experience the miracle of birth!" Snape announced as he did a weird little dance around her.

"Shouldn't I be studying for finals?"

"This is your final! Help Truffles give birth and make sure your cat is here because he is the daddy! I will bump your F- to an F+"

"I will do it!"

Ten minutes later….

"Outta my way!" snapped Hermione.

Voldemort was pacing back and forth and he stopped when he saw Hermione. "Do you know what you're doing?" asked Voldemort.

"Voldy, I've been watching the "Discovery Channel" since I was a little girl. CHILL!"

Voldemort sat down and Snape joined him. As soon as one of the kittens began to poke out, Voldemort fainted. Snape tried to fan him some air, but the dark lord was out cold. Suddenly out of nowhere Ron appeared with a video camera and started to film. "What's Weasley doing here?" asked Draco as he entered the room.

When he saw Truffles was giving birth, he shouted, "Oh my god!"

He ran out the door and went home crying to his mother.

And it was on that day that Truffles became a mother! To eight kittens!

"Now, Granger, we can't have this family separated. They must stay together. I won't have it like some peoples families. You are now going to live with me," Voldemort stated.

"If I have to live here, my grade must be risen to a D-"

"Deal," said Snape.

"SCORE!"


	10. Pink Diamond Collar

Author's Note: I don't own anything except Truffles.

Time went by and Truffles was an excellent mother. She took care of her kittens until they grew up and then she was back to her old self. She was getting older and as she aged she became weaker. She was constantly tired and napped constantly. Snape even commented, "She's getting her beauty sleep!"

"But she's already beautiful!" smiled Voldemort.

"Can I go home?" asked Hermione out of nowhere, "I graduated years ago…and Ron's waiting for me."

"Yes Granger you can go…but Ron got married!"

"WHAT TO WHO?"

"Lavender."

And with that Hermione was gone.

Truffles lifted her head to see what was happening and she made a grunt noise. "You okay?" asked Voldemort.

Truffles softly mewed and rubbed her head on Voldemort's hand. She looked up at him and stood up curling her tail around her feet. "Someone needs a new collar," giggled Snape as he pulled out a pink diamond collar that said Princess on it.

"Snape…where did you get that?"

"I made it!"

"Snape?"

"WHAT? I'm in touch with my feminine side! Maybe you should get down with it too!"

Voldemort didn't say a word as Snape leaped into the next room to watch his new favorite movie about girl power. "Would you like a different collar?" asked Voldemort.

Truffles didn't say anything and blinked at Voldemort.

"Okay, well let's go join Snape!"

Voldemort picked up Truffles and carried her into the next room where they joined Snape to watch a movie. Truffles curled up in Snape's lap and Snape almost cried out of joy. He gently touched her and she began to purr. "I…love…this…kitty!" he sobbed.


End file.
